Timelines & Truths

 Timelines & Truths:

Here I am looking at 32, and I seem to have a lot to say. I look at the past 20+ years with a mind numbing sense of “where did the time go”. I look back at the last 30 days and think that god may be cleaning house for me.

 I am drowned by the timelines I had set for myself…and then you turn the year you promised your self you would be set by, and all you are is YOU, a work in progress…

 I had to make several life realizations this past month. I do believe that everyday is practice for the next day, but sometimes in the monotony you get blinded by how slow change happens.

 The truths I have learned:

First: what does my soul believe… and more importantly why aren’t I living that belief.…. I had a long serious look at the things I believe about faith and happiness. I believe with all my soul that if I trust in the process of life and make the hard choices to stay on my path, I will live my life to its best potential. What makes the choices so hard is you have a glimpse of “this is so close to what I want, and what if better never comes”. I hope that each one of you reading that statement feels the “truth” resonate in your body by it. Fear causes the best of people to settle for less. Settling will never be the answer! The choices you have to make to be your best potential are difficult and built on faith….

 Second: You do not always have a second chance to say what you mean.  I know plenty has been written about this idea. All I can add or offer on the subject is that death is final and even in the best and also the worst of relationships your last words to someone whom has departed are what the living beat themselves up about. Either words said, or not said.

 Third: Tragedy and sorrow bring the true colors out in the people you surround your self with. This maybe the biggest blessing God can give us. The everyday happens and life moves on, but when you have a heartbreaking change in your existence, who comes up to bat in your life? Surprised by who is there? Hurt by who can’t show up? I believe that each of those are blessings. I have an incorrect believe that if you love me you will try to be there for me. When the disappointment subsides, I realize the truth. The truth that says the ones who love you will be there for you as much as they can and maybe this is just the brush with destiny you needed  to remind yourself, you’re on a path to your life & who is worth being involved in your life?

 More to come…. As I pray to open my heart!

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